confusion is killing me

Dont forget to remember me..

I seemed to figure out there was something wrong yesterday when i saw my moms face, i walked through the door everyone was standing there like they didnt know weather to tell me or not. I hugged my sister that i havent seen in monthes standing there in tears, I hugged her because i hadnt seen her, She whispered “I love you” i said whats wrong brit are you okay? and with one of the most fearful looks ive ever seen in my life she said “Jakes dead”. i had so many things racing through my mind, What do you mean jakes dead? he cant be dead. He just cant be, He just messaged me last week to see if he could come see us all. He didnt show up. But the last thing he said to me was “Remember im always here for you and i love you forever, Your my little sister” Why? Jake cant be dead. no matter what ill never forget him… i love him no matter what. I didnt know what to say i didnt know what to do. my first instict was to cry. so not crying infront of anyone i raced to my room, broke down on to my bed and cried. My sister came up and layed there with me and held me as i cried…

Why arent you here anymore

why would you take your own life

why didnt you come here last week

why didnt you call

why..

i cant seem to find answers. which is killing me the most.

I always chose to be strong

until someone told me, its okay to cry. You dont have to be so tough all of the time, crying isnt weakness, crying is being strong for to long,

Loving you isnt something i can control

I wont tell anyone just how much i miss you. not a soul. im not letting that get back to you and get the satisfaction that you want. im not letting you know that i think of you every day. before i go to bed at night, and when i wake up in the morning, before i we became close i was a different person. i felt so empty. i felt as though i had noone. and thats how i feel now. what do i do now? your gone. im not coming back. its lose lose situation and i dont know if i can stand it anymore.

i can now admit, silence is the most powerful scream

That moment when I find out my boyfriend isn’t moving

My day was great. I had a good feeling about today and then I get the great news that his dad has beat cancer and they aren’t moving. This is one of the most amazing days in a long time!

All I feel is anger anymore, towards anyone, towards anything .

Even though she doesn’t believe in love , he’s determined to call her bluff, who could deny these butterflies <3

I guess it’s not about anyone else when in all reality I made it a problem. I’ve come to realize that it’s not about everyone else . It’s about my happiness. And I truly do feel happy. I’m glad I’m with you. Even though I never thought that was going to happen but I feel right with you.

Honestly

You never know how you should be treated, and you always go for someone so much lower then you and think that that person is the best you can do, Its not true, You can do so much better, He should treat you like your his world and not do anything to mess it up, He shouldnt try to change you. everyone always says, you never know what you have until its gone, in all reality you know exactly what you have, you just never thought you would lose it, these people treating others like their nothing makes me sick, My best friends for example. How would you do this to me? I dont understand. Best friends means forever. not just until you feel like im not good enough. these two people are the only people i could go to and feel completely comfortable with. Now what happened ?

Demi Lovato, What are you teaching these kids, Good im glad your strong and your staying strong, But i dont understand why your putting yourself out publicly, It looks like your teaching these kids that its okay to do what you did, its not okay, your a disney star. what are you doing.

You know nothing about real loss. Because it only happens when you love something more than you love yourself

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